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20 Friend Dates for You and the Homies

As a romance fanatic and corny ass shawty, one of my favorite holidays is Valentine’s Day. I love the celebration and praise of romance, I love the excitement and play of discovering new ways to love. As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, I want to celebrate friendship as a sacred form of romance. I want to celebrate my homies for the care, support, and love they hold me with that has supported me in understanding my own needs in pleasure, joy and intimacy.

Romance is often only related to partnered contexts, and so I’m practicing what it means to share love in ways that support my communities and cultivate resistance. That practice has looked like embracing vulnerability beyond partnered contexts. It’s meant holding & celebrating the love my friends and I share for one another.



As a queer Black person, my queer biopic homies especially have taught me that I am worthy of love when I am most vulnerable. It’s shown me a love that reciprocates, that shows up, that pushes me forward, that celebrates my bloom, that builds new worlds.

On this day, and every day, I hope you celebrate your folks, your homies, your tribe, your play cousins, your loved ones, your people.

Share these dates with someone you love. Share some sweetness with yourself today.




  • WANDER AROUND YOUR CITY & VISIT THE PLACES THAT HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT IN YOUR FRIENDSHIP. TAKE PHOTOS & CAPTURE YOUR JOY. PUT THE PHOTOS ON A THUMBDRIVE OR IN A BOX AND OPEN IN 10 YEARS.

  • SIP TEA, GRAB CRAYON/MARKERS/DOODLING TOOLS & DRAW WHILE TAKING TURNS QUEUING UP SONGS YOU LOVE.

  • MAKE A PLAYLIST TOGETHER. SET A COURSE FOR A WALK. WHEN YOU BEGIN YOUR WALK, PRESS PLAY ON THE PLAYLIST AT THE SAME TIME ON YOUR SEPARATE DEVICES & ENJOY THE JOURNEY.

  • BRING BACK THE PILLOW FORT, THE INDOOR PICNIC, THE MAKE BELIEVE. CACKLE & MAKE YOUR OWN WORLD IN YOUR FORTRESS.

  • MAKE FACEMASKS OF ANY KIND (CLAY, OATMEAL AND HONEY, LAVENDER, ETC). LOUNGE, DRINK WATER, BE HYDRATED AND BLESSED TOGETHER.

  • GO DANCING, MAKE YOUR ROOM THE DANCE FLOOR, OR BRING A SPEAKER OUTSIDE. BLAST YOUR FAVORITE SONGS. DANCE EVERYTHING YOU FEEL OUT, GET LOST IN THE BEAT.

  • PEEP A FREE MUSEUM DAY/SHOW/GALLERY. BRING A NOTEBOOK. CAPTURE ALL THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND AS YOU ABSORB SOMETHING NEW WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE.

  • MAKE A MEAL, SOMETHING EITHER OF YOU HAVE NEVER TRIED OR A COLLECTION OF BOTH OF YOUR FAVORITES.

  • CAN BE DONE AS A PAIR OR A LARGER GROUP. HOST A TALENT SHOW WITH ALL THE HOMIES IN A SPACE YOU FEEL SAFE TO SHARE. HAVE EVERYONE PERFORM SOMETHING THEY’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY, CELEBRATE YOUR ART.

  • LONG DISTANCE HOMIES - SET UP A SKYPE/FACETIME DATE. COOK DINNER TOGETHER. REMINISCE ON HOW YOU FIRST MET.

  • INTERVIEW & RECORD ONE ANOTHER (VOICE/VIDEO) ON YOUR DREAMS, WHAT INSPIRES YOU, ETC. SAVE FOR A DAY EITHER OF YOU NEEDS A REMINDER OF YOUR VISIONS.

  • MAKE POSTCARDS TOGETHER WITH WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND (BOXES, PAPER GROCERY BAGS). MAIL OR GIVE TO ONE ANOTHER WHEN EITHER OF YOU NEEDS SUPPORT.

  • HIT UP THE GROCERY AND BUY YOUR FAVORITE CEREALS. PAIR WITH YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD CARTOONS.

  • SET A 15 MINUTE TIMER. MAKE A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION ON ANY SUBJECT. PRESENT TO EACH OTHER, LET HILARITY ENSUE.

  • GO SOMEWHERE YOU KNOW HAS MAGICAL OR RANDOM ITEMS, FROM A CRAFT STORE TO A THRIFT SHOP. FIND THE ITEMS THAT REMIND YOU OF ONE ANOTHER.

  • GAMES, IN ANY VARIETY. BREAK OUT OLD BOARD GAMES & DUEL, VISIT AN ARCADE AND WIN EACH OTHER A PRIZE.

  • PREPARE HOT CHOCOLATE OR WINE, TAKE TURNS READING THINGS YOU LOVE OUT LOUD TO ONE ANOTHER, POEMS, PASSAGES, OR A LETTER OF THINGS YOU NEED TO LET GO. ESPECIALLY FUN IF IN AN OUTDOOR SPACE WHERE YOU CAN YELL.

  • PLAN A PHOTOSHOOT IN A SPACE YOU BOTH FEEL SAFE IN. DAZZLE, LAUGH, GAS EACH OTHER UP AS YOU TAKE PICS.

  • BREAK OUT PAINTS, WATERCOLORS, GLITTER, ETC. GRAB PAPER OR OLD PAPER GROCERY BAGS. GET MESSY, CREATE.

  • PICK ONE THING YOU’VE WANTED TO DO THAT’S OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE (OPEN MIC, DANCE CLASS, ETC). SPEND THE DAY SUPPORTING ONE ANOTHER IN THE TASK.



20 Friend Dates for You and the Homies

FEB 10, 2020